[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[fishingboatproceeds]

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

[fuckthiswebsiteihateeveryone]

john green u nasty and ugly as hell shut the fuck up

[fishingboatproceeds]

sweetie, you are literally so out of line it’s fucking unbelievable. i could drag you so hard right now but i know you’ll just end up crying. i’ve roasted you before and you know it. chances are you’ll just say i bullied you because you’re gay and have different skin. talk shit get hit, you don’t wanna mess with me kiddo; i’ve got a black belt. i know threats are fucked up but that’s all i’ve been receiving all day, probably from her royal hoodrat olive and all of her nasty friends. but you can gang up on me and make fun of me for being goth all you want. i’ve been hurt a lot. my first boyfriend cheated on me, my dad screams if i forget to do my chores, and there are some days i don’t even want to get out of bed in the mornings. i’m a jaded teenage girl. i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of. you think your life is hard? try asking the cutest guy in your grade out in the middle of the cafeteria only to find out he has a fucking girlfriend. you don’t know my life or my story so keep my name out of your nasty mouth. life is a battlefield and it looks like i’ve already won.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[turtlesandfrogs]

Queuing this for January too.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[mr-system-of-a-downer]

unpopular opinion but I don’t think animals should be given as gifts unless the person is extremely experienced and knowledgeable.

[mr-system-of-a-downer]

The person in question responded to me and there’s kinda like this dismissive quality to it like “yeah my dad’s been asking for one for two years and we’re all gonna help out” and I just don’t think he understands that just because he said “oh well my father knows it’s more than just feeding and giving water” doesn’t exactly inspire confidence especially when it’s a general open ended question for advice on what someone should know…

Like where do you even begin? I’m sure a fair bit of you saw my post on green onions this morning. Nobody told me that, it wasn’t in anything I’ve read or watched. I just looked it up before I bought the veggie bag just to make sure.

Do you have a large enough cage? Safe toys? Did you make the mistake of buying a happy hut? Did you schedule a vet appointment? All this and so much more is like on the table but of course the one specific question the dude asked is “so when does it start talking?” Like bro that’s the least of your concerns it’s a fucking parrot it picks things up based off repetition. Setsuna only says “what are you doing?”because my mom kept asking her it while I was away for two weeks at drill.

but yeah no I’m just kinda miffed that’s all. Maybe because I was also pretty dumb and didn’t do much research in the beginning. Oh well.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[feixingfeisheng]

“monogamy isn’t common in nature blah blah no other ape does this and it’s possessive and unnatural blah blah it’s unrealistic to keep a healthy marriage for 2/3rds of your life blah blah”

don’t care didn’t ask plus after i get married we will die in each other’s arms through the strength of our commitment and love

[eizneckam]

love when people go “but monkeys do this-” do i look like a mfing monkey to you

“this happens in nature-” great! but this is a civilization

[feixingfeisheng]

monkeys don’t share milkshakes with curly straws on dates or write poetry to each other across thousands of miles. so while they are cool little dudes and dudettes, i will not be taking relationship advice from them.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[sandersstudies]

I am not kidding when I say if you’re under 21, keep returning to and trying foods you dislike on your own terms.

My palate changed so much during my teen years that I can name a dozen foods that were disgusting when I was a freshman and I eat regularly now.

Don’t get me wrong, I still dislike some foods, and nobody should pressure you to try things you don’t like, but trying different preparations of foods as you get older may surprise you. A child’s palate is radically different from an adults’, even if you are sensitive to textures and tastes.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[its-the-real-me]

we're unfortunately gonna be bombarded by january 6th remembrance posts by rich senators who thought a handful of boomers walking around inside the red lines in the capitol building was the greatest attack on america.

[its-the-real-me]

Rich fossilized lady that sits in a chair and does nothing while makes millions off of insider trading that adversely affects the entire populace: "pwease... we work for the people.... we don't wike being scawed..."

Every major media outlet in America: "this is a heartbreaking eulogy about the day our democracy nearly died."

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[thivvy]

i hate all vaccine discourse because most of the time the debate is between guys who think "you will die instantly from the jab and it seals your pineal gland and sends your soul to hell before you die its the mark of the beast and gives everyone a heart attack and turns off your immune system" and all sorts of absurd shit and then the other guys are like "yes the government and corporations should have more rights to control every aspect of your life and monitor you 25/7. if you disagree you have no empathy so i hope you die and i will laugh when you do. "

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[theocseason4]

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

Anonymous asked:

If you or your parents were good Christians the lord wouldn’t have made you a retard you degenerate.

fedpoaster answered:

this implies being a retard is a bad thing

[thelastoneconfusion]

Let no one deceive himself. If any of you thinks he is wise in this age, he should become a fool, so that he may become wise. 19For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness.”

[qwertyu858]

The whole "your kid is disabled as a punishment against you" its literally negated by jesus himself in the bible.

John.9

[1] And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

[2] And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

[3] Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[turtlesandfrogs]

Queuing this for January too.

[[insert corporate brand] is NEVER your friend.]

[evilvillain123456789]

1. Hello Tiktok user with bangs and eyebrows that are shaved off and then drawn back on. I have seen that you are using our published tumblr writing to make quirky “shitpost” videos for Tiktok. We are issuing a immediate cease and desist order and if you do not comply we are going to tell all of your gangstalkers as well as tiktok followers that you do not actually observe the ketogenic diet